were you disappointed when you when you realized i had taken a different path than the one you had prepared

were you disappointed when you when you realized i had taken a different path than the one you
had prepared
a road not filled with memories
but inhabited by nightmares
did you say something when i tripped and fell
bruising my pride and belief in myself
i remember you rarely laughed
quiet in all the rooms you entered
tacking your pelts
hanging them to dry
here, rub this on that one
i would
only to watch you do it over again
watch
i would
but i didn’t have the magic in my hands
i’d walk away
i never turned around
i knew though you had stopped to watch me
summer on the lake
nets slipped into the water
that way
i’d slowly turn the boat into the waves
trying to hide my fears
lift nets
drop the catch into the fish boxes
leaving the net in the water
until the next day
wind’s picking up
home
he’d sit there rolling a smoke
watching the waves
wind is shifting
waves crashing against the sides
i am soaked when we reach the mouth of the river
i never told him my greatest fear
was drowning

DRM/2021/March